1. |
Wild I's
04:21
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Sky is looking down at me
Into infinity
Say you’re looking down at me
You’re looking into infinity
Eagle’s flying through the sky
Reflected in my eye
Tracing its movements
He’ll watch the shine
I know the shine is in his eye
Time to gather up your sense of the world
In your embrace
Time to roll around all those memories
In one taste
The sun’s shine is fine
Don’t need a second face
At your very feet is divine
Don’t Need a second place
Moons wings
Held her under till she drowned in the sky
You know things
Will sound better when you’re so wise
I bite down on the bread of my neighbors heart
I smear the essence of the oil of thy art
Instinct lets me wobble on this spinning plate
Weakness helps me smash down a splintered crate
Only the lonely can find those wild I’s
Cropping up in paintings under rich disguise
I’ll haul my home right out into the street
Why don’t you come and sit in my seat?
Look into the sky and sing with me
Sky is singing loud, the eternity
that is here and now and fresh and free
Wild I’s living to embolden thee
Wild I’s living to embolden thee
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2. |
Fluorescent
04:12
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The same old darkness fell today
Leopard licked her spots away
The way I want to go fluorescent
The way I want to go fluorescent
A sunless rocket’s shot to Mars,
while we carve hearts on trolley cars
The way I want to go fluorescent
The way I want to go fluorescent
And I’ll be the love I want to have in my life.
Feeling dumb, just groping closer to light
Buds in April, doves in May
take up the mourning of the day
The way I want to go fluorescent
The way I want to go fluorescent
You dare to touch the fingertips
from which your dear life always slips
The way I want to go fluorescent
The way I want to go fluorescent
‘N I said I’ll be the love I want to have in my life
And feeling numb, I’m barely open to light
Jersey skyway sunset blush
reflect the madness in the rush
The way I want to go fluorescent
The way I want to go fluorescent
Find the kids a moonlit dream
Olympic sliver, catch the gleam
The way I want to go fluorescent
The way I want to go fluorescent
I want to feel the love I want to see in my life
Somebody pulled the rug, now I’m slipping day into night
Day into night
The same old darkness fell today
Leopard licked her spots away
The way I want to go fluorescent
The way I want to go fluorescent
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3. |
The Blue Sky
03:32
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You can’t argue with blue skies.
You can’t argue with these smart American guys,
sun on sprawling summer days
when things just go on that way.
You can’t argue with the course of change
in this hysterical exchange,
appealing to the worst side of the best man
cause he knows you’re his biggest fan.
You can’t argue with flattery.
Can’t argue with vanity, no way.
Or the crisis of conscience
at the end of the day.
Or the blue, blue sky
Or the blue, blue sky
You can’t argue with kids these days
You can’t argue with these power plays.
Because it’s just the blue sky
Hanging on the question “Why oh why oh why oh why?”
You can’t argue with the task at hand
nor with this proud American man
who's directing all the traffic
with his strong, decorated hand.
It’s not like it used to be.
Now you can argue with anyone you see
and as long as argument’s on the table,
it might as well be done anonymously
In the blue, blue sky
In the blue, blue sky
You can’t argue with policy
Can’t argue with the economy, oh no.
You are the anomaly--
ambivalent, sad and dumb and slow.
You can’t argue with trails already blazed.
No one asked you ‘bout the latest craze!
Because it’s just the blue sky
hanging on the question
“Why oh why oh why oh why?”
Oh the blue, blue sky
Oh the blue, blue sky
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4. |
Bud's
03:27
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All the weekday flowers,
weekend high heels.
Your past is crying
for the way the future feels.
I am from your future,
and there are no, no deals
No convenient faces,
no bargains and no steals.
Really the only thing in this
dirty old world that is
keeping you together-
the beauty of the mess you make.
On Friday afternoons you take off early,
because your troubled mind
will seek the peace,
and those that seek will find.
I want your present
to be as pleasant as it was
when you really needed peace
and tears were damping
down your fleece at Bud’s.
Work day sushi,
a trail of treats and snacks.
Sad girls in Gucci
look over their backs
with such a long
worried kind of
hurry-up glance.
Like to see the world
it they get the chance.
And you are an honorary
citizen of their world.
At the champagne buffet
you are a friendly squirrel
following the ants
into their tent.
By the first dance,
they’re already spent.
And you are only
hungry for life
or something that you’ve never seen.
So busy tamping down the hurt,
now they’re throwing out dessert,
what can it mean?
So you cry, eh that’s ok.
Even I sometimes feel that way.
Even I sometimes feel that way
about the mess you make.
About the mess you make!
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5. |
I Don't Have To Explain
02:57
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I don’t have to explain myself
I don’t have to justify the look in my eye
when I see that you are ailing from living lies
lies, yeah
I don’t have to hide my face
when I bare witness to this false embrace.
And when it’s done I’ll be right here by your side.
No reason for me to hide, oh no!
I don’t have to restrain myself
when the spirit’s got my tongue.
I’m old enough to know the difference
between what feels right and what feels wrong,
and it’s just my preference
as they say, not to play along, along.
And I don’t have to persuade myself
when I know it in my gut
that we are one in the same
seeing what we love from a different spot
See, I don’t have to save myself.
I don’t have to shame myself!
I don’t have to convince myself
that I’m right or that I’m wrong,
whether I do or I don’t belong,
and I don’t need a reason for my song
Song
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6. |
Some Dude
03:06
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Let all your conclusions
take you to the heart of life
And let all your confusions
just find you in the heart of life
I don’t mean to be rude
I just hate to see you
so supremely subdued
And if you end up doing
what you should not do,
I don’t care, I don’t even really care!
You’re unique, I respect your truth
as long as you, as long as you
Let all your conclusions
take you to the heart of life
And let all your confusions
just find you in the heart of life
I don't mean to be rude
I just hate to see you
so completely subdued
And if you find yourself
at the top, enjoy the view
But right here is where you
might become aware
you need not suffer like you do
as long as you, as long as you
Let all your conclusions
strip you from the party life.
Let your temporary confusions
just shake you under disco lights!
If you imagine yourself as some dude
you might start to think I’m imaginary too...
Well I don’t care!
Just do what you
do what you
do what you
do!
as long as you, as long as you
Let your bluntest conclusions
kiss you on the bridge of life.
Let your latent confusions
just find you in a. . .
a new. . .
new part of your life.
I don’t mean to be rude
I just hate to see anyone
unnecessarily subdued
when they got to fight.
Yeah you, yeah you!
You can reverse it, you can turn it all around
or else I’m shouting upside down
at some dude, at some dude, at some dude!
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7. |
Right Through Your House
03:01
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Magnolia
Damn! You’ve got a drawing table
in the front of your room,
is it your tomb, your tomb now?
Well I can see right through
I can see right through your house!
I can see right, I can see right
I can see right through your house
And you can see my every move
But can you see me walking out?
Well, how do you do?
Can’t say I know you...
I’d never say I know you, now
But I can see right through
I can see right through your house
I can see right, I can see right
I can see right through your house
And you, you don’t want to know me.
But you do, But you do now!
And you don’t want to show me,
but I can see you true now
Cause I can look, look right through.
Yeah I can see right through your house!
and I can see right, I can see right
I can see right through your house
You are a millionaire of a man
Like a million times sadder
cause you think you know what I am
Seeing me from above
as you’re climbing your ladder.
Man, you think you’ve chalked out
everything I want.
But you couldn’t be wronger!
cause I can look, look right through
I can see right through your house
cause I can see right, I can see right
I can see right through your house
Magnolia
Damn! You’ve got a bust of Lincoln
in your west window,
You wanna know what I know now?
That I can see, see right through
I can see right through your house!
I can see right, I can see right
I can see right through your house
I can see right, I can see right
I can see right through your house
I can see right, I can see right
see right through!
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8. |
Refreshed
02:23
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There’s no wrong time
to be refreshed.
In the morning, afternoon,
in your evening best.
With some cold water,
a gust of wind,
some tea you can put
mint or lemon in.
In a dingy diner,
while traveling alone.
Hearing Tony Bennett’s voice,
it’s in the tone.
There’s no wrong turn in refreshment.
There’s no burn in it.
Just a wild rush toward what is new.
Live exhibits burst out of the zoo,
and park rangers tear down the fence
in a sudden bout of common sense.
Let peace be unrestrained--
Invigorate, not tame.
And powerfully put out
fires singeing you.
Because it considers everyone the same.
Just like the rain,
I’m going straight into the storm, it’s Ok.
I’m not as brittle as a jet-plane.
You allow yourself to get a little wet,
you allow yourself to be refreshed.
You allow yourself to get a little wet,
you allow yourself to be refreshed.
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9. |
No Position
04:16
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Happy when I have no position
Right up here in the lonely zone
I’m happy when I have no position
Down in the ecstasy of truth unknown
Hunkered Between your fence
and any kind of ground
The sand and flint and ash
around your mining town.
I could be anywhere you see
The place you’re least
expecting me to be
Happy when I have no position
Right up here in the lonely zone
I’m happy when I have no position
Down in the ecstasy of truth unknown
The happiness of the newly free
isn’t lost on me,
This unexplainable thing
it’s all that lets me be happy.
And the mirage of the person
I could probably be
is what keeps me
from being free. . . a little bit more free. . .
Oh but I'm. . . .
Happy when I have no position
Right up here in the lonely zone
I’m happy when I have no position
Down in the ecstasy of truth unknown
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10. |
Early Hours
03:39
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In the early hours
the shapes of things
begin to dazzle
in a false display,
a cross-eyed vision
you might call magical.
And I’m seeing the shape of love
It’s shaping up to be something special
And I’m seeing the shape of love
in every empty vessel.
In the early hours
I’m reeling in the wasted feelings
Taking them inside
with the jilted brides
It’s where they want to be.
And the shape of things is dull
Anyway I can’t tell the shapes of feelings
In some crazy world where I could say,
you probably wouldn’t have faith in hearing.
And I’m seeing the shape of love
It’s shaping up to be something special
And I’m seeing the shape of love
in every empty vessel
In the early hours
The early hours
It’s too late, it’s too late
It’s too early.
In the early hours
The early hours
It’s too late, it’s too late
It’s too early.
spoken sections, excerpts from a made-up Beat novel:
. . . again I found myself in the deserted western town of the unconscious, no doubt turning myself into a character in search of a narrative, but taking in long breaths charged with the electricity of uncertainty and potential. In the early hours, the sun rises like a whale from its vast and mournful hearth, causing a ripple that shakes us to the core, invigorating our central corpus of spiritual desire with a firm but caring squeeze, this kind of thing always makes me weak in the knees. . .
. . . again I found myself alone, wandering through the eerie hiss of suburban streets, thinking myself immune to all stripes of pain or disgrace, but choked by the smog generated by passing cars. Everybody knows I'm not a wandering sadhu in search of the next unfolding of the divine page, but some kind of wise-ass kid escaping from his self-generated drama, into a self-generated kind of disgrace, swapping out his worldly shame for an eighteen dollar New Jersey transit ticket and a soda. . . .
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11. |
Losing
05:55
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Held down on this world
wrapped in darkness
It’s not hard to want to
Leave it all behind.
Under a bush,
chasing a bit of shadow
Shadow of a purpose, gone blind!
A rogue knight
In the penny arcade
where it’s always after dark
Exploring how
another carcass is made,
looking for doubles on the Arc.
And I’m losing my touch,
I’m losing the taste,
I’m losing the plot.
Because My way
of making sense of this place
Is by enjoying what it’s not
By Losing, losing and losing
Hardly anyone would bet
That I had gained some kind of fortune
And that fortune is my debt
And I’m little more than a squirrel
In this world
Anywhere could be my nest
But the town has no need for my services
In the town I am inert, inept
Whoa! So let's go
Just withdrawing my senses
From their valuable object
Where they breathe in hibernation,
still active nonetheless
And I’m losing my touch,
I’m losing the taste,
I’m losing the plot
Because my way
of making sense of this place
Is by enjoying what it’s not.
By Losing, losing and losing,
hardly anyone would bet
that I had gained some kind of fortune
and that fortune is my debt
On the face of things
I’m another goner--
A builder in the land of the destroyed.
Situated in the lap of dishonor,
The judges unemployed!
But that’s not even a speck of me
I am myself a speck.
Maybe in a kind of ecstasy,
maybe just a wreck.
And I’m losing my touch,
I’m losing the taste,
I’m losing the plot
Because my way
of making sense of this place
is by enjoying what it’s not.
By Losing, losing and losing,
hardly anyone would bet
that I had gained some kind of fortune
and that fortune is my debt.
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12. |
Guitar and Viola Melody
01:43
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13. |
The Call To Arms
05:29
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Despite utopia’s golden godly charms
The people were just waiting for an urgent call to arms
Like a phonograph record playing in their heads
In the run-out groove, voices of enemies lying dead
It’s like a song to redeem,
A song to remind me
No matter how it seems
The call to arms is blinding
After the fall of America
There was one regret
That the call to arms was
Rarely ever met
With the earnest actions
Of a people rising up,
Even though no righteousness
ever would’ve been enough
It’s like a song to redeem,
A song to remind me
No matter how it seems
The call to arms is blinding
Like the salt in the sea
Like all the fault in me
Like a wind gone sour
It’s not our finest hour
Its the thrill of might
It’s the wrong of right
All at the expense
Of friends who didn’t want to fight
It’s like a song to redeem,
A song to remind me
No matter how it seems
The call to arms is blinding
And those kids drinking beers in your garage
While they may not have a draft to dodge
They’re still gearing up for their epic fail
I hope they live to tell their gruesome tale
oh yeah
It’s like a song to redeem,
A song to remind me
No matter how it seems
The call to arms is blinding
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14. |
Somehow I've Always Been
03:48
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Loose teeth, no sleep
No pleasure, no peace
Massive debt, lost bets
Lost pets, regrets
No heat, bad feet
Dead meat, take a seat
Stuck in line, who’s got the time?
World is gray, won’t go away!
Eviction, affliction
Dereliction, Non-fiction
Chronic pain, what a shame
You’ve got yourself to blame.
Drunken bros at your door,
broken nose, canker sore.
Going blind, going deaf
Going dumb and the rest!
Writing the future with a dying pen
It will run out, but I don’t know when.
Have even less idea than I had then,
and even less Zen.
Oh, but somehow I find myself alive,
misfortune only causes me to thrive.
Give me one of these things, or give me five.
I’ll be revived! cause somehow I’ve always been.
somehow I’ve always been
somehow I’ve always been!
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Julian Cartwright New Jersey
Julian Cartwright is a songwriter, instrumentalist, composer and arranger based in the Philadelphia area. Instagram @julian.cartwright.songs
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