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Wild I's

by Julian Cartwright

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elenamom A smart, emotional, amusing album produced with fantastic artistry.
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1.
Wild I's 04:21
Sky is looking down at me Into infinity Say you’re looking down at me You’re looking into infinity Eagle’s flying through the sky Reflected in my eye Tracing its movements He’ll watch the shine I know the shine is in his eye Time to gather up your sense of the world In your embrace Time to roll around all those memories In one taste The sun’s shine is fine Don’t need a second face At your very feet is divine Don’t Need a second place Moons wings Held her under till she drowned in the sky You know things Will sound better when you’re so wise I bite down on the bread of my neighbors heart I smear the essence of the oil of thy art Instinct lets me wobble on this spinning plate Weakness helps me smash down a splintered crate Only the lonely can find those wild I’s Cropping up in paintings under rich disguise I’ll haul my home right out into the street Why don’t you come and sit in my seat? Look into the sky and sing with me Sky is singing loud, the eternity that is here and now and fresh and free Wild I’s living to embolden thee Wild I’s living to embolden thee
2.
Fluorescent 04:12
The same old darkness fell today Leopard licked her spots away The way I want to go fluorescent The way I want to go fluorescent A sunless rocket’s shot to Mars, while we carve hearts on trolley cars The way I want to go fluorescent The way I want to go fluorescent And I’ll be the love I want to have in my life. Feeling dumb, just groping closer to light Buds in April, doves in May take up the mourning of the day The way I want to go fluorescent The way I want to go fluorescent You dare to touch the fingertips from which your dear life always slips The way I want to go fluorescent The way I want to go fluorescent ‘N I said I’ll be the love I want to have in my life And feeling numb, I’m barely open to light Jersey skyway sunset blush reflect the madness in the rush The way I want to go fluorescent The way I want to go fluorescent Find the kids a moonlit dream Olympic sliver, catch the gleam The way I want to go fluorescent The way I want to go fluorescent I want to feel the love I want to see in my life Somebody pulled the rug, now I’m slipping day into night Day into night The same old darkness fell today Leopard licked her spots away The way I want to go fluorescent The way I want to go fluorescent
3.
The Blue Sky 03:32
You can’t argue with blue skies. You can’t argue with these smart American guys, sun on sprawling summer days when things just go on that way. You can’t argue with the course of change in this hysterical exchange, appealing to the worst side of the best man cause he knows you’re his biggest fan. You can’t argue with flattery. Can’t argue with vanity, no way. Or the crisis of conscience at the end of the day. Or the blue, blue sky Or the blue, blue sky You can’t argue with kids these days You can’t argue with these power plays. Because it’s just the blue sky Hanging on the question “Why oh why oh why oh why?” You can’t argue with the task at hand nor with this proud American man who's directing all the traffic with his strong, decorated hand. It’s not like it used to be. Now you can argue with anyone you see and as long as argument’s on the table, it might as well be done anonymously In the blue, blue sky In the blue, blue sky You can’t argue with policy Can’t argue with the economy, oh no. You are the anomaly-- ambivalent, sad and dumb and slow. You can’t argue with trails already blazed. No one asked you ‘bout the latest craze! Because it’s just the blue sky hanging on the question “Why oh why oh why oh why?” Oh the blue, blue sky Oh the blue, blue sky
4.
Bud's 03:27
All the weekday flowers, weekend high heels. Your past is crying for the way the future feels. I am from your future, and there are no, no deals No convenient faces, no bargains and no steals. Really the only thing in this dirty old world that is keeping you together- the beauty of the mess you make. On Friday afternoons you take off early, because your troubled mind will seek the peace, and those that seek will find. I want your present to be as pleasant as it was when you really needed peace and tears were damping down your fleece at Bud’s. Work day sushi, a trail of treats and snacks. Sad girls in Gucci look over their backs with such a long worried kind of hurry-up glance. Like to see the world it they get the chance. And you are an honorary citizen of their world. At the champagne buffet you are a friendly squirrel following the ants into their tent. By the first dance, they’re already spent. And you are only hungry for life or something that you’ve never seen. So busy tamping down the hurt, now they’re throwing out dessert, what can it mean? So you cry, eh that’s ok. Even I sometimes feel that way. Even I sometimes feel that way about the mess you make. About the mess you make!
5.
I don’t have to explain myself I don’t have to justify the look in my eye when I see that you are ailing from living lies lies, yeah I don’t have to hide my face when I bare witness to this false embrace. And when it’s done I’ll be right here by your side. No reason for me to hide, oh no! I don’t have to restrain myself when the spirit’s got my tongue. I’m old enough to know the difference between what feels right and what feels wrong, and it’s just my preference as they say, not to play along, along. And I don’t have to persuade myself when I know it in my gut that we are one in the same seeing what we love from a different spot See, I don’t have to save myself. I don’t have to shame myself! I don’t have to convince myself that I’m right or that I’m wrong, whether I do or I don’t belong, and I don’t need a reason for my song Song
6.
Some Dude 03:06
Let all your conclusions take you to the heart of life And let all your confusions just find you in the heart of life I don’t mean to be rude I just hate to see you so supremely subdued And if you end up doing what you should not do, I don’t care, I don’t even really care! You’re unique, I respect your truth as long as you, as long as you Let all your conclusions take you to the heart of life And let all your confusions just find you in the heart of life I don't mean to be rude I just hate to see you so completely subdued And if you find yourself at the top, enjoy the view But right here is where you might become aware you need not suffer like you do as long as you, as long as you Let all your conclusions strip you from the party life. Let your temporary confusions just shake you under disco lights! If you imagine yourself as some dude you might start to think I’m imaginary too... Well I don’t care! Just do what you do what you do what you do! as long as you, as long as you Let your bluntest conclusions kiss you on the bridge of life. Let your latent confusions just find you in a. . . a new. . . new part of your life. I don’t mean to be rude I just hate to see anyone unnecessarily subdued when they got to fight. Yeah you, yeah you! You can reverse it, you can turn it all around or else I’m shouting upside down at some dude, at some dude, at some dude!
7.
Magnolia Damn! You’ve got a drawing table in the front of your room, is it your tomb, your tomb now? Well I can see right through I can see right through your house! I can see right, I can see right I can see right through your house And you can see my every move But can you see me walking out? Well, how do you do? Can’t say I know you... I’d never say I know you, now But I can see right through I can see right through your house I can see right, I can see right I can see right through your house And you, you don’t want to know me. But you do, But you do now! And you don’t want to show me, but I can see you true now Cause I can look, look right through. Yeah I can see right through your house! and I can see right, I can see right I can see right through your house You are a millionaire of a man Like a million times sadder cause you think you know what I am Seeing me from above as you’re climbing your ladder. Man, you think you’ve chalked out everything I want. But you couldn’t be wronger! cause I can look, look right through I can see right through your house cause I can see right, I can see right I can see right through your house Magnolia Damn! You’ve got a bust of Lincoln in your west window, You wanna know what I know now? That I can see, see right through I can see right through your house! I can see right, I can see right I can see right through your house I can see right, I can see right I can see right through your house I can see right, I can see right see right through!
8.
Refreshed 02:23
There’s no wrong time to be refreshed. In the morning, afternoon, in your evening best. With some cold water, a gust of wind, some tea you can put mint or lemon in. In a dingy diner, while traveling alone. Hearing Tony Bennett’s voice, it’s in the tone. There’s no wrong turn in refreshment. There’s no burn in it. Just a wild rush toward what is new. Live exhibits burst out of the zoo, and park rangers tear down the fence in a sudden bout of common sense. Let peace be unrestrained-- Invigorate, not tame. And powerfully put out fires singeing you. Because it considers everyone the same. Just like the rain, I’m going straight into the storm, it’s Ok. I’m not as brittle as a jet-plane. You allow yourself to get a little wet, you allow yourself to be refreshed. You allow yourself to get a little wet, you allow yourself to be refreshed.
9.
No Position 04:16
Happy when I have no position Right up here in the lonely zone I’m happy when I have no position Down in the ecstasy of truth unknown Hunkered Between your fence and any kind of ground The sand and flint and ash around your mining town. I could be anywhere you see The place you’re least expecting me to be Happy when I have no position Right up here in the lonely zone I’m happy when I have no position Down in the ecstasy of truth unknown The happiness of the newly free isn’t lost on me, This unexplainable thing it’s all that lets me be happy. And the mirage of the person I could probably be is what keeps me from being free. . . a little bit more free. . . Oh but I'm. . . . Happy when I have no position Right up here in the lonely zone I’m happy when I have no position Down in the ecstasy of truth unknown
10.
Early Hours 03:39
In the early hours the shapes of things begin to dazzle in a false display, a cross-eyed vision you might call magical. And I’m seeing the shape of love It’s shaping up to be something special And I’m seeing the shape of love in every empty vessel. In the early hours I’m reeling in the wasted feelings Taking them inside with the jilted brides It’s where they want to be. And the shape of things is dull Anyway I can’t tell the shapes of feelings In some crazy world where I could say, you probably wouldn’t have faith in hearing. And I’m seeing the shape of love It’s shaping up to be something special And I’m seeing the shape of love in every empty vessel In the early hours The early hours It’s too late, it’s too late It’s too early. In the early hours The early hours It’s too late, it’s too late It’s too early. spoken sections, excerpts from a made-up Beat novel: . . . again I found myself in the deserted western town of the unconscious, no doubt turning myself into a character in search of a narrative, but taking in long breaths charged with the electricity of uncertainty and potential. In the early hours, the sun rises like a whale from its vast and mournful hearth, causing a ripple that shakes us to the core, invigorating our central corpus of spiritual desire with a firm but caring squeeze, this kind of thing always makes me weak in the knees. . . . . . again I found myself alone, wandering through the eerie hiss of suburban streets, thinking myself immune to all stripes of pain or disgrace, but choked by the smog generated by passing cars. Everybody knows I'm not a wandering sadhu in search of the next unfolding of the divine page, but some kind of wise-ass kid escaping from his self-generated drama, into a self-generated kind of disgrace, swapping out his worldly shame for an eighteen dollar New Jersey transit ticket and a soda. . . .
11.
Losing 05:55
Held down on this world wrapped in darkness It’s not hard to want to Leave it all behind. Under a bush, chasing a bit of shadow Shadow of a purpose, gone blind! A rogue knight In the penny arcade where it’s always after dark Exploring how another carcass is made, looking for doubles on the Arc. And I’m losing my touch, I’m losing the taste, I’m losing the plot. Because My way of making sense of this place Is by enjoying what it’s not By Losing, losing and losing Hardly anyone would bet That I had gained some kind of fortune And that fortune is my debt And I’m little more than a squirrel In this world Anywhere could be my nest But the town has no need for my services In the town I am inert, inept Whoa! So let's go Just withdrawing my senses From their valuable object Where they breathe in hibernation, still active nonetheless And I’m losing my touch, I’m losing the taste, I’m losing the plot Because my way of making sense of this place Is by enjoying what it’s not. By Losing, losing and losing, hardly anyone would bet that I had gained some kind of fortune and that fortune is my debt On the face of things I’m another goner-- A builder in the land of the destroyed. Situated in the lap of dishonor, The judges unemployed! But that’s not even a speck of me I am myself a speck. Maybe in a kind of ecstasy, maybe just a wreck. And I’m losing my touch, I’m losing the taste, I’m losing the plot Because my way of making sense of this place is by enjoying what it’s not. By Losing, losing and losing, hardly anyone would bet that I had gained some kind of fortune and that fortune is my debt.
12.
13.
Despite utopia’s golden godly charms The people were just waiting for an urgent call to arms Like a phonograph record playing in their heads In the run-out groove, voices of enemies lying dead It’s like a song to redeem, A song to remind me No matter how it seems The call to arms is blinding After the fall of America There was one regret That the call to arms was Rarely ever met With the earnest actions Of a people rising up, Even though no righteousness ever would’ve been enough It’s like a song to redeem, A song to remind me No matter how it seems The call to arms is blinding Like the salt in the sea Like all the fault in me Like a wind gone sour It’s not our finest hour Its the thrill of might It’s the wrong of right All at the expense Of friends who didn’t want to fight It’s like a song to redeem, A song to remind me No matter how it seems The call to arms is blinding And those kids drinking beers in your garage While they may not have a draft to dodge They’re still gearing up for their epic fail I hope they live to tell their gruesome tale oh yeah It’s like a song to redeem, A song to remind me No matter how it seems The call to arms is blinding
14.
Loose teeth, no sleep No pleasure, no peace Massive debt, lost bets Lost pets, regrets No heat, bad feet Dead meat, take a seat Stuck in line, who’s got the time? World is gray, won’t go away! Eviction, affliction Dereliction, Non-fiction Chronic pain, what a shame You’ve got yourself to blame. Drunken bros at your door, broken nose, canker sore. Going blind, going deaf Going dumb and the rest! Writing the future with a dying pen It will run out, but I don’t know when. Have even less idea than I had then, and even less Zen. Oh, but somehow I find myself alive, misfortune only causes me to thrive. Give me one of these things, or give me five. I’ll be revived! cause somehow I’ve always been. somehow I’ve always been somehow I’ve always been!

credits

released August 10, 2021

Mixed by Julian Cartwright and David B Greenberg

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Julian Cartwright New Jersey

Julian Cartwright is a songwriter, instrumentalist, composer and arranger based in the Philadelphia area. Instagram @julian.cartwright.songs

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