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How A Ghost Vanishes

by Julian Cartwright

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1.
You Are Real 02:04
They like to hang around. Snap your fingers, say your prayer soft or loud and they go so fast. You know your prayer is the best. We’ve got to use the best. And the ghosts can’t make a sound. Sadly they can’t approach a sacred sound. They just hang around. And You-- You are not a ghost at all. Not for a second because you are real you are real Everyone and everything is real. Whether you know, it depends on how you feel. They hang around, but you don’t have to fear. Say your prayer now, deep breath of air, and suddenly you’re real. You are real, no question. And these ghosts aren’t worth your attention.
2.
And the wind died down, and the wind died down. Stopped walking so that I could hear the dying sound. And the wind died down. In that time of life I had to cancel every plan. And, knowing what I am, was allowed to live again. Allowed to live again! I held the message in hand. Standing on my dead land, I sent it down the living stream. And the wind died down, and the wind died down. Stopped everything so I could hear the dying sound. And the wind died down. All around the world was driving me to school. My stomach got so bad, I couldn’t take it. Had to remember why I was a fool to recognize that I had grown to hate it. Stagnant thoughts were all around. When the wind died down, when the wind died down. Stopped crying so that I could hear the dying sound. And the wind died down. On this plain, we can observe what has been swept away. In that whir, we can remember getting out of pain. And as the worries seem to wane, you might remember times when freedom reigned. How they sound the same, how they sound the same as when the wind died down, and the wind died down. Stopped racing so that I could hear the dying sound. And the wind died down. And it cut my ears, and I disappeared. But I’m never dead nor dim and bleeding. Only love to hear that mild sound again. Only love to give that mild sound respect.
3.
3d 03:17
When something hits you, buddy, you can’t really see it coming. It just takes you, and you feel the pain. You wish you could brace yourself, duck and roll, or at least bend your knees. But you can’t seem to imagine, no you just can’t imagine 3d. But we never think of an earthquake, of heart attack or stroke. Can’t even wrap our heads around a heart nor a brain nor even a globe. Never died in a car crash or a disaster at sea. Cause we can’t imagine water. What on earth is an SUV? When something hits you, buddy, you can’t really see it coming. It just takes you, and you feel the pain. You wish you could brace yourself, duck and roll, or at least bend your knees. But you can’t seem to imagine, oh no you just can’t imagine 3d. We all know it’s there, some know it’s everywhere. The thing of which we can’t conceive. You can’t imagine it now, nor how or when it came. But it hits you just the same. This also happens in the thrill of the game. Funny how it hits. But I really think it’s Ok.
4.
Simple Words 02:01
With the weapon of all concern, you gave your night to love me. You helped me write in a campsite in a dream. In the reeds, I heard you walking. I heard you calling out for me. And For the love of all concerned, you moved throughout the night with a flashlight on your knees. Well I never really answered your call. But I took your simple words, and hid them while I crawled, feeling darkly. Up until now I stood behind a wall. Now you see I’m not alone at all. Your love is part of me. And for the love of all, you made me come out from behind this wall, for you to see.
5.
The Stevens have a tough job. The Stevens’ is a tough life. I see ‘em on the screen now. Perfect husband, perfect wife. Please, please bring me into reality. Steve is a handyman-- doesn’t really work with his hands. He’s not rich, so don’t misunderstand. Steve eats his dinner out of cans, singing “Please, please bring me into reality.” Stephanie has a black lab, a puppy that she loves to death. And she believes he loves her constantly, that man’s best friend must be the best, singing “Please, please bring me into reality.” Please Don’t bring me up or down Please Don’t drive me around just to let me see all the things we set out to, like the window’s our TV. “Please, please bring me into reality.” Several Stevens in the park reenact or something in that vein. Playing at being righteous figures, but St. Stephen will remain. “Oh please, please bring me into reality.” Stephanie is what Stephanie says and she’s trying to be someone lately. She is running the race, she’s lifting up her face, she is having her husband’s baby, “Oh please, please bring me into reality.” You can have it your way, you could spend all day with the Stevens, Stephanie and Steve. Had such a good time singing their lives, feels like they might be a part of me. Somebody please, please bring me into reality. Please don’t bring me up or down Steve please don’t drive me around just to let me see all the things we set out to, like the window was a screen. Oh, Please please bring me into reality. Please please bring me into reality.
6.
Times 03:45
Behind a blue house on a rainy day, a loser sits and gulps champagne. From the sitting room you could hear the sonic boom of an airplane on its way. Tea with biscuits, how nice. Stubs of tickets, jacks and dice. Cantaloupe rinds from two separate times and white ice cream on a plastic plate. Inside the blue house there is fun. Down the hallways, lots of room to run. Keepsakes from all fifty states but they can’t replace the times. Their funny and their lonely broken-hearted times. A brand new blender in the kitchen used to make extravagant drinks. If you really tune in, you can listen. You can follow the silence to its brink. Inside the cupboard, books and alcohol. A wristwatch with a broken face. Remnants from relations on the mantelpiece, and furniture from six estates. Inside the blue house there’s a gun under the armoire in its case. There are two sour pictures with a son but they can’t replace the times. The funny and the empty broken-hearted times. They’re fine. They’re pictures of a face, but they can’t replace the times. The funny and the lonely broken-hearted times. Behind a blue house on a rainy day, a loser sits and drinks champagne. From the sitting room, you can hear the sonic boom of an airplane on its way.
7.
Backpack 02:24
Don’t want to have to give a list of reasons why I’m good. Don’t want to have to give a summary of badges that I’ve earned. Don’t want to crash the party when the party house has been burned. And I see no reason why I shouldn’t face the wind, or why every decision is just something to defend. And I will drive out to the desert just to empty my backpack in the sand. And I will drive back into town just to fill it up again. My backpack is full of half done things. Half-eaten seeds and memories that sting, and when I get to the table, all that stuff is what I’ll have to bring. So don’t ask me to give a list of reasons why I’m good. Don’t bother trying to factor in the goals I have attained. Doesn’t make much of a difference what has been lost and been gained.
8.
Being Dumb 03:11
Oh God-- you gave me stupidity. But I know deep down that I’m the stupid one. Oh God-- you gave me victory to sing a stupid song about how far I’ve come. Oh God-- you know I like to pity. You’ve probably seen by now that I’m the pitiful one. Oh God-- you gave me melody to sing a stupid song about how far I’ve come. Oh God-- you gave me vanity. Why does anyone else try to show their face at all? Oh God- you gave me sanity to know that in the end my body is bound to fall. Oh God-- you gave me infinity, but I prefer to ride in the back of a rusty Chevy. Oh God-- you gave us humanity to build something good, but what we’re building’s not good at all. Oh God-- you gave us chemistry to make all types of poisons for the world. Oh God-- we made you our enemy when we brought our own solutions into your world. Oh God-- you give us immunity from the fever that always boils within your sight. And God-- you give us you and me. and the strength to stay awake through this lonely night. And God-- you gave me stupidity. So I could sing a stupid song about how far I’ve come. But God-- I want to speak of beauty. Instead I write a symphony about being dumb. Instead I write a symphony about being dumb.
9.
Body 01:54
In any one funhouse I’m Frankenstein’s creature. Each member remembers what it used to be. I’m reused and rehashed, just a pile of trash born of a miracle. You said, “Please creature, use your new body responsibly.” But when you took each piece of me out of its box, you had to know. Ah, but you chose not to see it. You just saw a bunch of ducks in a row. Well, now I have to be it. You can go all of the places I can never go. See admiration in the faces that I’ll never know. And affection, that’s the big one. And that’s where you drew the line. But I’m really grateful to you, and I love you, Victor Frankenstein. I’m really grateful to you, and I love you, Mr. Frankenstein. Last night I realized that my body is not mine. But I’m really grateful to you, and I love you, Victor Frankenstein. If you could only be mine.
10.
Robin 03:36
Renting a room above the butcher, Robin would read. And in the event of danger, Robin would lead. Whether it’s a letter or spoken solace that you need-- In a minute, Robin would be there, a friend indeed. As if a thank you was enough, night after night I’d scheme to do something right for Robin. What does Robin really need? When someone like that dies, you just can’t understand why. You’d think they’d live forever, being so good at living life. When someone like that leaves you, all you want to do is cry. But someone like that needs you to stand up and give yourself a try. A little secret between you and me: Robin’s still around for us to see. A little secret between me and you: you may be like Robin too.

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released April 11, 2016

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Julian Cartwright New Jersey

Julian Cartwright is a songwriter, instrumentalist, composer and arranger based in the Philadelphia area. Instagram @julian.cartwright.songs

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